So often, we focus on the physical experience of sex and miss an opportunity to make a meaningful connection with our partner. The nature of intimacy stretches beyond the physical, and how exactly we achieve, or even define it, remains complex and enigmatic.
What We Need To Learn
A few years ago, sex and intimacy expert Zoë Kors discovered the life-changing power of “radical intimacy.” After wrestling with emotional attachment in her relationships, Kors spent 10 years living an intentionally single life.
Once she shifted her old relationship paradigms, she could comfortably have a lover while maintaining emotional independence.
“I created a container for myself to explore the full range of intimacy—with myself, with family, with friends, with lovers. What I discovered is that when we let go of the way we were conditioned to think about sex and the many messages we have internalized about sexuality and intimacy, a certain freedom to express ourselves emerges.”
At her website and in her consultancy, Kors has helped a wide variety of clients explore many different kinds of intimacy in their lives. Her platform of radical intimacy struck a particular nerve around the globe.
Her essay about radical intimacy has been read 2.3 million times and shared hundreds of thousands of times on social media.
Simplify Your Love Life
Radical intimacy can be cultivated in the bedroom, but it can also improve our digital relationships as well.
“I have used technology to enhance intimacy in my own relationships,” says Kors, who can teach couples how to have more meaningful text exchanges or use video chat for intimate and sexy experiences.
“It’s very tempting to say that technology has alienated us from each other,” says Kors. “But I actually don’t believe that.”
Try This At Home
Anyone can experience radical intimacy with a few simple practices.
Instead of struggling to connect with your partner in a meaningful way, try one of these simple practices to add a little radical intimacy to your bedroom.
- Don’t speak during sex. “Set a specific time to meet in the bedroom without speaking a single word.”
- Be mindful as you get naked together. “Undress each other by taking turns removing one article of clothing at a time.”
- Decide to hold back, together. “Notice the powerful bond created as you hold each other on the brink of ecstasy.”
The Afterglow
After years spent guiding her clients to improve both the sexual and intimacy aspects of their lives, Kors has noticed a growing hunger for more intimate connections, both inside and outside the bedroom.
“As the world speeds up and becomes more and more complex, we tend to get away from the very simple connection of our relationships. Making time to meet each other in a foundational way, nourishes ourselves, each other, and the relationship,” she concluded.
“Intimacy is most often takes a reallocation of resources.”