We are all familiar with the common red flags of dating and relationships, the ghosting, the micro-cheating, controlling behaviors or overbearing partnerships. With all of the news and focus on red flags and toxic dating trends, let’s take a moment to focus on the positive when it comes to looking for love. We can train our eyes and hearts to be on the lookout for green flags that can signal the start of a beautiful relationship.
Green flags, as the name suggests, are the opposite of red flags. They are the good, positive signs that hint at your relationship compatibility and that you may have found someone that might be worth keeping around. Green flags aren’t to be mistaken with trying to make a relationship perfect or feeling happiness 100% of the time, as no relationship is perfect, but a green flag can be useful in helping you recognize the value and possibility of your potential partner. This is important in order to build on or maintain a strong relationship, and to save you time in the dating trenches, whether you’re using dating apps or meeting people in person. Green flags are the indication of compatibility, or safe emotional spaces, some of the things that make good relationships great.
By focusing on green flags, you may end up realizing how much of a positive impact your relationship has on your life and that may even encourage you to find ways to further grow as a couple. Let’s take a deeper look at some of the common green flags in a healthy, positive relationship. The first step to recognizing that green flags could be found in exploring what they are to you, as an individual.
According to Laurel House, a relationship expert at eHarmony speaking to Well+Good,
… before you can identify and sort these flags, it’s important to introspect about what your personal needs are in a partner and relationship, says Laurel House, a relationship expert at eHarmony. Needs, she adds, are different than wants in relationship, because wants aren’t necessarily relationship-sustaining. (Basically, it’s not an automatic deal breaker or a red flag if a person doesn’t satisfy all of your wants.) Most of us have the same basic needs in a relationship, House adds—like the need to feel safe (emotionally, mentally, and physically), sexy, and seen—but it’s still important to rank those needs to gauge whether the most important ones can be met by a new potential romantic partner.
What are some examples of green flags to be looking out for on your path to self introspection and relationship growth? According to the website One Love, some good ones to start with are as follows: Being able to be your true, authentic self; finding yourself laughing and smiling frequently; feeling respected; wanting similar things in life; feeling challenged (but in a good way); and finding yourself wanting to make sacrifices for the other person.
How long it will take you to highlight these green flags in a person is going to depend on what you discuss with a new potential partner, your chemistry and how much you each reveal about yourself. Some of the impact of green flags such as these will depend on how in touch with yourself you are and if you’re being honest about what you truly want out of life and love. It can be easy to convince yourself you share common goals and that the person hits all your buttons when you’re in the first flush of new relationship energy. That may change or shift as time goes on, so it’s important to remember that green flags are an indicator that you’re going in the right direction, not a surefire sign that you should get engaged after knowing someone for a month.
Every relationship looks different. For some people, consistent communication is necessary, while others are okay with sporadic communication. Ultimately, a relationship is healthy when both you and your partner feel that things are equal and meet both partner’s needs. Discussing these green flags and relationship goals or personal needs isn’t always easy, but can really help you and your partner grow. If you are already aware of the green flags you are lucky to be sharing, don’t forget to show gratitude and highlight those wonderful positives that you share. Green flags can be found in all forms of relationships, love, family, friends, where are you able to identify some of the green flags in your relationships, and when was the last time you celebrated them?
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