Tapping into the Ecstasy of Everything
There is a miracle inside you. A miracle of connection with the entire Universe, where a breath of air, a flash of color, a taste of food is orgasmic. This place shudders you with ecstasy simply because you are alive. Your body tingles, dances, spasms in the pleasure of connecting with your natural state of being. You are Pleasure. You are Orgasm. You are Ecstasy.
In Sex, Love and Goop, Jaiya offered a glimpse of that possibility. And you may have wondered: Is that even real? In the face of a culture that defines sex in the narrowest of hetero-normative ways (insert penis into vagina), believing in other possibilities is an act of rebellion.
Are you ready to rebel? 😉
One of the biggest keys to exploring and inviting energetic orgasm in yourself is stretching your definitions of sex far beyond the cultural ideas you’ve grown up with. It took months of play, stretching, disappointment, wondering if I was “doing it right” to finally enter into my own energetic awareness. And the key was to realize and call the body sensations I was experiencing what they truly were: orgasms.
I thought they would be the same version of what I was used to – a climax of sensation that felt pleasurable in my genitals. My expectation limited me from what was truly possible – waves and waves in various frequencies from many different places in my body. In a wild epiphany, I realized the shivers running through me might be the thing I was looking for! They were only okay on the pleasure scale and… they were pleasurable, maybe? What if I just let them expand through me? I was willing to be curious.
The thing is, energetic orgasm wasn’t even what I was searching for. I simply wanted to last longer. I was trying to draw the desire up my body rather than have it all focused around my genitals. Playing with breath techniques and edging and squeezing my perineum to delay my ejaculation brought me into an awareness of more of my body – and there is pleasure in SO MANY PLACES.
So, I started to celebrate those tiny shivers of pleasure. I hoped there was more to it, sure…and I figured I would just go with it. A few weeks later, after making love, I found myself in full body shudders for hours. So long, it was scary. And, as I lay there, I could easily stop the motion if I just moved or breathed. Then, I’d sink right back into it. My partner was amazed and a bit confused – and I think for the first time jealous of how much pleasure I was in. (She had been the multi-orgasmic one before this.)
That was 20 years ago.
Since then, the energetic ecstasy I’ve experienced far exceeds the physical climaxes I once had. The non-ejaculaory peaks have gone on for hours at a time. Often genital touch isn’t involved at all.
Now I find that a shiver of orgasmic bliss is less than a breath away. There actually is an ecstatic current that runs through everything, and I am part of everything.
My belief is that everyone has access to it. For some, like it did for me, it may take awhile to find. It takes persistence and breath and self compassion and a big expansion of definitions. For others, it may be the surprise of a moment when we sink into vulnerable openness with ourselves, with a lover, sitting under a tree at the park.
Consider this to be a word of encouragement. You have access to pleasure beyond your wildest dreams. Twenty years later, I’m still surprised that there are new experiences to have beyond my imagination. Expand your definitions, allow yourself to feel more – through your senses, your intuitions. Open to the possibility that all of it is real, and that you get to have it. Be patient, breathe deep, invite pleasure in. Your next breath may surprise you.
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