While the term “genderqueer” has been around since the 1980s, not a lot of folks have heard the term. The term originated with the queer zine movement, and spread from there into the queer counterculture. The term was a precursor to the word “nonbinary.”
I started using “genderqueer” to describe an aspect of my identity in the 1990s, and for me the word was a revelation. As a precursor to “ nonbinary,” “genderqueer” put a name to something I had felt since I was a child; the sense of not being fully at home in the confines and expectations of womanhood. I was also not interested in being a man, though I did consider myself, in many ways, “male identified.” The word defined, for me, the space in between and around the binary of male and female.
The term genderqueer exists under the trans umbrella. For some of us who use the word genderqueer, there is a political component to the choice, just like with the word queer. This political–or activist–frame may or may not be as present in a person’s choice to use another word, like gender-nonconforming. (A term I also used to describe myself for a while.)
While some (mostly gender essentialists) think of gender as a static binary, the actuality is that there is no standardized gender expression across cultures. For many, gender expression doesn’t even look, feel, or manifest the same way across the lifespan. Truly, gender is complex for many, if not most.
Gender identity and gender expression are different things. Gender identity is the gender you experience yourself as. Gender expression is the way in which one signals their gender to others. Everyone has a gender identity (even if that identity is agender, meaning not having a gender or lacking gender), and everyone engages in gender expression. Most cisgender people have probably not examined or become conscious about their gender identity or expression, because they haven’t needed to.
When we start talking about gender expression though, it is important not to fall into essentialist or binary thought patterns. For instance, although it was illegal for women to wear pants until the early 1900s, pants are not “masculine” or “male” dress items. Similarly, while western culture is just working its way around to this point of view, there is nothing inherently “female” or “feminine” about dresses or skirts. Literally anyone can wear a skirt if they so choose. Similarly, makeup is for anyone who wants to wear it; no one should be pressured to wear it or not to wear it.
Another thing to be aware of is that gender, and our expectations around it, is based on cultural expectations/scripts. As I said above, gender expression, even within a binary construct, is not standard from culture to culture. And in many cultures, especially Indigenous cultures, pre-contact or colonization, there were (and in some cases are) many other gender designations, outside of the binary of male and female.
Below are some ways that I like to think about gender. I hope this primer helps you in understanding your own gender, and the genders of other people.
Gender Is…
An analogy I like to use is that gender is software, in that it’s easily modified or rewritten.
Gender is flexible; it changes as cultural norms shift (think high heels and makeup on men being normative in 1800s Europe, in comparison to current gender expectations), it may change over the years for an individual as their self-identity shifts, and it may even change based on where someone is or who they are around.
For many of us, gender expression, if not identity, is somewhat adaptive. This means that gender expression may shift in different situations. An obvious one is any situation in which a person doesn’t feel safe in expressing gender outside of proscribed expectations, but sometimes there are more positive reasons one’s gender expression may shift.
Gender is Not
It’s also important to consider what gender is not. Gender is not synonymous with sex, assigned at birth or otherwise. Sex assigned at birth, going with the tech comparison, is hardware. And as we know, even with hardware, mods and upgrades are always an option.
Gender is not synonymous with sexual orientation or attraction. At the same time, for many of us, gender identity and even expression may have areas where they influences sexual attraction or orientation, and vice versa.
As discussed above, gender is not globally standardized. Even within the binary, there is no “male” or “female” standard for gender expression or identification across cultures.
Gender May Be…
Gender may be relational. For some people, who they are around has a substantial impact on how they may express or perform gender. This is as true for cis people as for trans individuals. For example, in binary culture, think of guys around other guys. What comes to mind? Now think of the same guy around his partner or lover. How is his gender expression different in the two situations?
Gender may be constantly evolving over time. Even cis people experience this. Think of the arc of gender expression over a lifetime. Whether trans or cis, how one performs their gender shifts according to many influences.
Gender may be tied in some ways to, or interactive with, sexual desire. For some of us, our gender expression and our sexual expression may be completely distinct fields, while others may experience gender and sex as a co-arising phenomenon.
Gender may be fun! If you’re curious about what it might mean for you to liberate your gender from the expectations of the strict binary, I encourage first becoming conscious of how you perform your gender. And, in situations where it feels safe for you, begin playing with gender in ways that delight you.
And for my cisgender readers, I invite you to begin the process of dismantling the assumptions of gender binary culture, first within yourself and then in the world. You may begin this process by thinking about how you might answer the questions that genderqueer and other trans people are asked everyday: When did you know you were cis? How did you know? When did you come out as cis? But what gender are you really?
Dismantling expectations based in the gender binary system serves everyone. As we create more space for authentic expression, we work our way toward our collective liberation.
Watch our exclusive interview with Lasara views on being genderqueer.
Read all Lasara’s Queerly Renegade columns here.