Polyamory, which is a form of ethical non-monogamy, is becoming more widely known and accepted, which is great news for many sexually liberated folks. As polyamory reaches out into the masses, we can dive more deeply into its complexities, whether we participate in it or not (yet). We can learn from what others are sharing about their polyamorous experiences to get a sense of whether this relationship form may be right for us.
We now have the opportunity to learn about what parameters we might want to follow before we even commit to polyamory, rather than solely using trial and error in our most intimate relationships. Thanks to a wide range of polyamorous bloggers, podcasters, and social media accounts, there are numerous resources for discovering what polyamory is all about from real people who practice it.
It’s easy to imagine all of the best parts of polyamory. After all, why wouldn’t we want to enjoy more of what we like? Learning more about ourselves emotionally, sexually, and romantically is possible via polyamory, if that’s a way of interacting that intrigues you.
However, if you’re new to the world of polyamory, one thing you need to consider is what works for you. For instance, sex with others may be on the table, but how about sharing your most intimate emotions? What about sleepovers? Is sex with others something you do on your own, or something you share with a partner? There are many permutations of polyamory, such as kitchen table polyamory, to choose from.
Let’s say you’re part of a couple and are considering dipping your toes (and other body parts) into the world of polyamory with a threesome. One thing to consider is whether the gender of your proposed partner matters to either of you. Which raises a great point that Melissa Alverez expands on in her article for Polyamory Today titled “One-Sided Polyamory: You Can’t Have Your Cake and Eat Mine Too.” In her case, her male partner was only open to bringing a woman into their sexual play, not a man.
She shares:
“A little while later we had a conversation after a night out at a bar. He asked me if my expectation would be to add a male in the context of his need. Perplexed, I said, “Well yes. I assumed it wouldn’t be gender specific.” Apparently he had different plans. My ex was only open to adding a woman to the dynamic, because the threesome would be him centric.”
Alverez goes on to expand more on the complexities of how the relationship developed. In her honest and candid writing, she helps draw some clear lines that folks new to polyamory might find helpful in defining for themselves, and that poly curious folks can learn from.
What do you think? Is polyamory something you’ve tried or considered?