Ah, yes, yes, yes—the solo date. The time in which you are in control of what you do, where you go, and how the night will end. A freewheeling night where you are your own date and the world is your big, wide-open oyster!
Why go on a solo date? Well, because it’s fun, you get to pick the itinerary, and it’s an excellent way to show yourself how you like and deserve to be treated by yourself and by other people. Get this: Our brain responds to patterns!
SET UP THE PERFECT SOLO DATE
Above all else, you come first. Your happiness comes first. And what is a better way to show that for yourself than to have a night (or morning) that is completely dedicated to you? Here are a few ideas:
- Create an elaborate meal for yourself.
- People watch at a local cafe or wine bar.
- Go to a show or an outdoor event by yourself.
- Take a long walk.
- Go to the movies! Or recreate the experience at home.
- Walk around a museum . . . and maybe bring a sketchbook!
- Go to a luxurious dinner or spa.
- Book a hotel room for a night!
- Listen to audio erotica while drinking wine at a local cafe.
- Spend the whole night nude taking hot photos of yourself.
SOLOING AS A SELF-ESTEEM BUILDER
For a super fun, self-esteem-building solo date (a two-for-one!), why not try something a little outside your comfort zone?
Of course, when doing something for the first time, you’re going to be scared! Your brain will travel to the worst possible scenario, providing all the reasons why you shouldn’t be doing what you’re doing. You might psyche yourself out of the experience because of a fear of failing. Let me tell you a secret: This feeling happens to everyone. Yes, everyone. Even Zac Efron. Even your mom. Even me—hell, it happens to me every time I go to a workout class by myself (I get nervous and self-conscious about people judging me!). But showing yourself you can do what you want on your own helps build your self-esteem. Is some of it going to be within the realm of emotionally scary? Yes, possibly. But this is why we need to try it so we can feel empowered by that accomplishment!
LATEST SOLO DATES I TOOK MYSELF ON . . . AND THEIR SCORES
1| TOOK A DANCE CLASS: Let me tell you . . . the whole thing was painful. I’m all for movement and stretching and dancing, but dear goodness, this was not for me. 3/10
2| BAKED CROISSANTS: It took forever and they definitely didn’t look even close to Parisian, but they were so tasty! 10/10
3| WORE ORANGE WHILE TAKING A WALK THROUGH THE CITY: I’m a New Yorker forever with a noir-style closet to match. But adding bright-colored clothes to my otherwise all-black theme brings me little bits of joy. 7/10
4| STRETCHED IN THE MORNING: I always thought stretches were for elite athletes. . . . Well, consider me a gold medalist because, dang, morning stretches are the best thing to ever happen to my life, especially because I walk a lot! 8/10
5| HAD A PASTA NIGHT IN SOHO: Just me, my red wine, penne, and a pile of bread. People walked by, looked in my direction, and kept walking. Sure, it made me self-conscious, but it was so worth it. It was a night just for me and it was exactly what I needed. 10/10
Excerpted from My Pleasure: An Intimate Guide to Loving Your Body and Having Great Sex by Laura Delarato with permission from Chronicle Books, 2022.
My Pleasure is available from Amazon and Bookshop.