Sex toys can teach you a lot about your own pleasure and make your personal sexy time A LOT more exciting.
But what if you want to use sex toys with your partner? Some people get worried, anxious, or self-conscious bringing sex toys into the bedroom.
Luckily, the Sex Toys community at Reddit has plenty of advice for first-timers. One reader stopped by the community and asked for advice about using her first sex toy for the first time.
They wrote this thoughtful question to the community:
“I’ve never owned a sex toy and I’ve never had an orgasm … my question is, should I play around with it tonight or wait until we have sex next time, that way if I orgasm it’s with him there?”
The forum had tons of advice, and it can be helpful for anybody bringing a sex toy into the bedroom for the first time…
Take time to play without the toy first!
A veteran toy user shared this important thought: “Really explore all of yourself. Take a hot shower or bath and relax, then get comfy and think of things that get you wet. Then touch yourself all over, slowly so you can discover your personal erogenous zones. Remember how much pressure and type of stimulation excites each area.”
Practice good communication before, during, and after the experience!
Another reader added this advice, complete with a beautiful description of ideal communication: “Both self (inner) communication and speaking confidently to your partner is a solid starting point to reach better intimacy. With time, keeping talking and explaining yourself, will grant you to reach satisfaction in your life, specially in the sexual sphere. Think about it… Sex, if done well is the most private, exciting and passionate way of talking to the real you…”
Give yourself some solo practice before joining your partner.
One reader explained: “It’s okay to have your first orgasm be a private experience. And however enjoyable they may be, there can be a learning curve when it comes to using sex toys, both physically and mentally. You may find it easier to try out on your own, without worrying about someone else’s expectations.”
Focus on having fun with your partner, not the orgasm.
Another reader made this point: “the first couple of times you use it with him (after getting familiar with making yourself orgasm) just aim to have fun, super wet sex. Worrying about orgasming will only make the vibrator seem like an annoyance and a turn off in my experience.”