Confession: I’m a romance junkie. I’m the gal who cries at the end of happy movies. My obsession has served me well. I’ve made a career studying the art of love, so to speak. As a scholar, I researched women’s relationships for decades. Not satisfied with expressing what I’d learned in nonfiction, I became, you guessed it, a romance novelist. As such, I spend a lot of time thinking about, well, romance. I write scene after scene of couples sharing intimate moments. Fiction is a form of escape so sometimes these steamy bits happen in exotic locations: sandy beaches, film sets, or private jets.
Yet I’ve learned that it’s not about where people are nor is it about glamour. Take my latest novel, which is a celebrity romance with plenty of glitz. The best moment in the book is when a Hollywood movie star gives his beloved a gift that costs nothing but means everything.
Whether on the page or in real life, romance is about intimacy. We create intimacy by slowing down and giving our partner our full attention. You don’t need to wait for a special occasion, plan a grand gesture, or break the bank in order to create that sacred connection. You can do it right in your own home whenever you both simply make the time, and the best part is that it won’t cost a cent. So, turn off your phone, spend quality time with your special someone, and enjoy a romantic evening any night of the week.
Need some inspiration? I’ve got you covered. Here are my top 10 tips for enjoying a romantic night with your partner, without spending money. It all starts with an open heart and an open mind, so don’t mentally cross anything off the list with a dismissive eye roll. Give it a try.
- A candlelit bubble bath for two. It’s standard fare in romance novels for a reason. Give yourself a sexy, intimate, slow down. Relax with your partner as you soak your troubles away. It’s not really about the bubbles, it’s about letting go and being in the moment.
- Take a spin together. Turn your living room into a dance floor. Whether you opt for romantic strings, an old-fashioned two-step, or party music, put on some tunes and grab your partner. So often we wait for an invitation to an “event” to dance, when it’s something we can do together anytime we choose.
- Play a game. Go low tech. Turn off the devices and play a board game or cards. Make popcorn or pop open a bottle of wine. Turn it into a playful competition. What does the winner get?
- Read poetry. Yeah, I know, it’s a romantic cliché, and you can’t imagine actually doing it. Maybe it’s a cliché for a reason. Give it a try. Grab a dusty poetry tome from your bookshelf, borrow one from the library, or download some poems online and read them aloud to one another. Get lost in the language.
- Support a cause you both care about. Common interests and compassion are super sexy. There’s much you can do right from your home, without writing a check. For example, go through your bookcases and remove titles you’ve read. Donate them to Operation Paperback to support our military or to one of many prison book programs you can find online. No gently used books? There are other ways you can donate your time together from the comfort of your home. Try letter writing to support a cause or political issue you care about or emailing your network to spread awareness and get others involved.
- Spa night. Pamper each other with massages, manicures, or pedicures.
- Bake together. While you may cook together, baking is usually reserved for holidays. Make any night special by making whipping up a sugary confection. Don’t run to the store to buy an armload of ingredients. Use what you have in your pantry. You probably have the staples to make simple sugar cookies, and you can download a recipe online. Cut them into fun shapes. Don’t use cookie cutters, get creative. For example, cut strips with a butter knife. Then use a drinking glass to make circles. Cut the circles in half and now you have all the pieces you need to make butterflies. Just have fun with it. The imperfect ones are always the best. It’s about the activity, not the outcome.
- Watch a movie. Change it up from your average TV night. Pick an old classic or an acclaimed foreign film neither of you has seen. Get some throw blankets and pillows and cuddle on the couch while you watch. Make hot chocolate or a special cocktail.
- Take a walk in your neighborhood. Hold hands and enjoy the atmosphere, whether it’s the vibrancy of city life or the quiet of the country.
- Learn something new. Do something you’ve never done before. Pick something you both want to learn how to do that doesn’t have any pressure attached to it—from painting to yoga to home repair to a foreign language —and watch an online video together. People grow and evolve over their lives. Sometimes we get stagnant or grow apart. This is a chance to grow together.
Patricia Leavy’s novel Hollyland is available from Amazon and Bookshop.
