We are all looking for a more healthy, honest, joyful and fulfilling physical and spiritual communication in our relationships.
Evolving social contracts have liberated and demystified sex, love, and romance, but they have also surfaced a host of unaddressed complexities and complications in our relationships.
What We Need To Learn
As more relationships change the boundaries of what “family” means, polyamorous parents are exploring new models.
Recently, the polyamory community shared insights, experiences, and ideas about raising children within the framework of polyamorous parenting.
The Big Question
The conversation began on Reddit, started by a woman in a three-person relationship. Her family has one young child, and plans to have more. Here’s the original post:
“My husband (27m), my boyfriend (26m), and I (25f) are planning on having children together. My husband and I already have a 1.5 year old son together, who we had before my bf came into the picture. My bf has always treated our son as his own, even before we started dating (he’s a long time family friend/my husband’s best friend of 20 years).”
Simplify The Conversation
To help this young family, poly family members shared their experiences and thoughts. We’ve collected some of their great advice.
- Don’t keep it a secret! conservative_poly explains: “If you plan on children the idea to keep poly a secret is a balloon in a field of cactii. The moment they can speak they will out you ;)”
- Think about a last name solution that works for everybody. User kitanokikori had a creative solution: “make up a new last name together and change all your names to it.”
- Watch out for favoritism. User braeica had this advice: If favoritism becomes a problem, address it with the family members in the wrong when it happens.”
- Advocate for the change you want to see in your world! Another user added this important comment: “Ultimately, the best solution would be for the poly community and allies to band together and push for marriage equality.”