What is the Ick? The Ick is that low-level feeling of dread and repulsion that you get when the person you’re seeing does something—often completely harmless—that repulses you. From that point forward you are repelled by them.
The Ick is something everyone on the dating scene will be aware of. We have all been there. You start dating someone, it’s going really well, then you turn up to your next date to see their legs swinging on a bar stool—it’s curtains. This is exactly why I co-authored The Little Book of Ick: 500 Reasons to Get Over Them – For Good, so we can all revel in solidarity at our complete irrational repulsion. Dating while being particularly ick-conscious is a completely different ballgame. I go on dates now subconsciously waiting for it to happen, taking bets with myself as to what I think will trigger it this time. Here are some tips to help you get through being on the dating scene when you are also easily ick-ed:
- Identification: Is it an Ick or a genuine red flag?
Being on a date and a little red flag starting to wave is a universal experience. It’s important to assess in your head whether something is an actual red flag or a baby ick rearing its head. Is it something that’s indicative of their wider character or just something icky? They keep missing their mouth with their straw? Ick. They’re rude to service staff? Red flag.
2. Acceptance: You’re probably ick-ing them as well
With the increasing prevalence of The Ick in our modern dating vernacular, it’s important to come to terms with the fact that you’re likely giving them The Ick too. This is not something to be self-conscious over! As we all know, absolutely anything can give someone The Ick. I can only speak from experience, that I have been most ick-ed when I can see the person I’m on a date with is consciously trying to act differently to their natural instincts. Embrace all ick-inducing tendencies!
3. Corrosion: Can you diminish The Ick effects?
If the person you’re dating is completely self-aware of their ick-inducing behavior, it’s a total game changer. I went on a date recently, when the guy pulled out a vape (a personal BIG ick), he immediately said: “I know this will give you The Ick, I don’t care.” Believe me, The Ick dissipated quicker than I could believe. Even if it’s not something they’re conscious of, are they the kind of person where you could make a joke of it? Immediate Ick dissolver.
4. Rationalization: Is this something you could find endearing long-term?
It is no secret that love defies all icks. Exes of mine have done many of The Icks featured in The Little Book of Ick; but instead of being repulsed, I found it endearing. If someone has given you The Ick on your first date by asking the barista to run through the full list of the syrups they have on offer, ask yourself if you could learn to enjoy a gingerbread latte with them too.
5. Utilization: Use Icks to assess whether this could be end game
Our idea for The Little Book of Ick came as a result of the TikTok trend, utilizing Icks almost as prompts to trigger feelings of revulsion. I have done this in order to try and get over someone in order to try and evoke a physical reaction whenever I think of them, and also as a way to test how I’m feeling about someone. Have you been on a few dates with someone who you really like but you’re not sure you’re 100%? Imagine them doing the splits, imagine them talking like an influencer on their Instagram stories. Not repulsing you? You could be onto a winner.
Even for those of you easily ick-ed like myself, you are now a dating pro. You can now go into the dating scene ready to embrace your easily ick-ed nature. Good luck to both of you! You can pick up The Little Book of Ick here for solidarity from two fellow easily ick-ed people.
The Little Book of Ick: 500 Reasons to Get Over Them – For Good by Anna Burtt and Kitty Winks (Laurence King Publishers) is available from Amazon and Bookshop.