The life of an erotic romance writer sounds glamorous I know but I assure you, it’s hard work. Full of double entendre and an excessive amount of winking, writing about sexual exploration, pushing boundaries, finding as many ways to say cupping, stroking, sucking, licking, thrusting, as I can takes a lot of energy and dedication. I see sexual scenarios in everyday things which is, well, awkward at times. I’m a redhead; I blush a lot. It’s a curse. My thoughts always enter the erotic zone even with the most benign things and I laugh at inappropriate things constantly.
Imagine walking through a grocery store, looking at balsamic vinegar glaze and wondering if it would be too sticky on skin or if it’d be sticky enough for sugar to stay put for a textured lick-a-thon. Also, exactly how many sloppy licks would it take to get to the prize? These are not questions you can ask a random store worker, which means it takes some trial and error as well as a lot of dubious internet searching to find answers.
It’s not all chocolate sauce and lingerie, paddles and whips either.
Hazards of the job also come in the ever-present fear that the wrong person is going to stumble on my work and develop certain “ideas” about me.
As a redhead with long hair, I get petted.
As a heavily tattooed woman, I get stroked.
As an erotic romance writer, I get intrusive questions.
From: Where do you get your inspiration? Personal experience? ~wink wink~
To: Do you need some help coming up with ideas? ~wink wink~
Can I send you a picture of my–
Just kidding, I don’t ever get asked if it’s okay for men to send unsolicited dick pics, they just do.
The most cringey thing ever though is when your FATHER reads one of your books and proceeds to tell you all the parts he thinks are unrealistic. Please, to all the gods of chocolate out there, I hope to never have to experience that again. Dads shouldn’t read their kid’s erotic writing. Ever.
In all seriousness, writing erotic things requires a lot of effort. Not only does it take a tremendous amount of creativity to come up with interesting and, yes, Dad, realistic scenes, it also requires a keen understanding of how body parts move. There have been times that I’ve had an extra hand doing things that extra hands can’t do. Or legs that bend as if made of elastic. If I’m writing about multiple partners, then look out! It takes a very careful eye and some keen editing to ensure that limbs don’t perform unexplainable feats.
Erotica doesn’t mean sex, sex, all the sex…it also means sensuality, desire, passion, connection and many different forms and expressions of love. It should give the reader fizzies in their various body parts. It should titillate. It should evoke feelings, trigger memories, and awaken desires.
For all the hard work and awkward moments, I do love writing erotic stories. Not only does it allow me to push boundaries and challenge societal norms around sexuality but I truly believe I’m giving my readers what they want and need in a way that, hopefully, satisfies them.