Kink is about sexual interests—that’s how the media portrays it—but at its core, the process of exploring kink is about discovering who you are and what you want, of searching for and reaching for ways of getting more “life” out of your life, of moving past traditional social boundaries, and realizing aspects of yourself in creative, playful, and meaningful ways.
Women and Kink utilizes scientific research and explores the responses study participants gave regarding their relationship status, their reasons for participating in bondage, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism, and masochism (BDSM), and open-ended “is there anything else you’d like to add” prompts. This book brings to light a variety of ideas and experiences of kinky women, illuminates the tremendous diversity of relationship structures that differ from common social norms, illustrates reasons why women engage in kink activities, and shares some of their intimate stories. The responses these women provide are thoughtful, provocative, and inspiring. These women speak unabashedly about their sensual, erotic, and sexual lives, giving us all a glimpse into what they do, why they do it, whom they do it with, and so much more.
We hope their personal stories will inspire those of you who are curious, those who are just entering the kink world, and those who are more experienced but want to learn from others. We also hope these stories captivate you, tantalize you, and embolden you, and help you realize how very similar and very unique we all are. With so many stories from so many women, Women and Kink compellingly demonstrates that we all have choices in how we create our own realities and relationships.
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It’s important to have an understanding regarding what someone’s mindset is to BDSM. There is so much more than the actual physical activities that transpire.
Kink is an abundance of qualities, facets, ideas, beliefs, and complexities. It is people united in communities and still possessing conflicting ideas and behaviors. It is what you expect and what you never dare dream.
The women in our study do not enjoy kink in a vacuum, disconnected, acting out a bad script in a grainy film. Rather, kink is intertwined in their lives, loves, passions, philosophies, professions, and adventures, in the sacred and in the mundane, in their hearts and in their souls. Kink allows them to be as alive as they can be while not being part of themselves at all, both intimate and detached. And more, and less.
Media depictions about kink are sensationalized and would have us believe that kink is only about sex. While sex is certainly one aspect of kink, our study’s participants teach us that kink can also pertain to pain, the mind, spirituality, community, safety, consent, exhibitionism, voyeurism, role play, fetishes, and money.
You didn’t expect that, did you?
Well, neither did we!
These women detailed, explained, expanded, and clarified the particular features of and ways of thinking about kink, in all its intricacies. And that is where our adventure begins.
Excerpt from Women and Kink: Relationships, Reasons, and Stories in Chapter 1 – Introduction and Chapter 2 – Aspects of Kink.
Women and Kink is available from Amazon and Bookshop.