You are probably having nice or even decent sex while having only 1-2 types of orgasm and not even aware that there are more options. Orgasm is not the only purpose or focus of sex, but it is often one of the most enjoyable and memorable parts because of its intensity. Many people are enjoying genital orgasms such as vulva-equipped clitoral, pc muscle, g-spot, cervical, and/or uterine or penis-equipped pc muscle and/or prostate. Since we are discussing pleasure, let’s just keep to purposeful orgasms, not any that are seizure-induced or other spontaneous orgasms. These are the more standard types of orgasm and feel great, though for sake of variety or preference, there is also the whole body, non-genital, and mental orgasms.
Whole Body Orgasms
A whole-body orgasm can be aroused physically or by thoughts, feelings, and mental choice. The experience often involves the whole body in that you feel a heightened pleasure, sensation, and often in waves. Many people describe whole body orgasms as a wave that travels up the body to the head and even hair and then down the body through the toes creating tensing and releasing of muscles, tingling, and increased sensitivity. Overall, the experience can take a few seconds or be stretched out to be minutes, and rarely for even hours. Often, this is what is described as toe-curling orgasm and can even be overwhelming to some people.
To try and allow a whole-body orgasm, you need to be very vulnerable and open to the experience. Allowing your body to feel and enjoy sensation all over your skin and being aware of focusing in on the building pleasure throughout your body as it reacts to physical and mental pleasure. To focus and enjoy the whole body of reactions, you need to block out external stimuli, and only focus on your body. Allow the sensations to “fill you up” and even use your breath to inhale as you allow the sensation to fill your lungs, head, arms, hands, fingertips, and stomach – and then as you exhale the sensations roll down your back, buttocks, genitals, legs and toes to then roll back up the body. Using this mental imagery can help those new to whole-body orgasms.
Non-Genital Orgasms
Non-genital orgasms simply mean that they are not felt in the genitals. There is nothing that restricts orgasm to be only in the genitals, or always having to include the genitals. It is often easy to understand in extreme cases – that if someone has a spinal cord cut around the nipple line, then they do not feel lower than the nipples – then the brain uses the non-used parts of the sensory cortex (where we feel each part of the body) to decode and experience more detail in the sensations that the body can physically feel. So, a build-up of sensations can occur that then respond in release of pleasure that is even recognized in the brain as an orgasmic response (yes, people go have orgasms in MRI machines just to let us study these things). Then, if someone does not have a spinal cord cut, the body can have these reactions and orgasms that are not genitally originated by increasing sensation in the breast or other reactive/sensitive areas. Many people who have amputations or scars that include sensitized nerve endings report having felt orgasms in the scar. The increased sensitivity of the scar can make this more likely and is enjoyable to some people, but just strange, or even uncomfortable to others.
To enjoy a non-genital orgasm, you need to focus on the sensations in sensitive areas of the body. If you have scars, sensitive places, or places you find exciting and arousing that are not genitals – then this is a great option. Most of my clients do not know where they may have a non-genital orgasm and think it is not for them. That is when I ask, “when was the last time you were kissed behind your left knee?” So, explore your body and re-explore your body.
Mental Orgasms
A mental orgasm is by thought alone, without (needing) physical stimulation. Many people who have mental orgasms do use them while having sex or other physical orgasm, but the orgasm is started by mentally telling yourself to have an orgasm, not a physical reaction. Instead of the genitals having stimulation and then the brain deciding it reaches a threshold and tells the genitals to have an orgasm, you simply tell your body to have an orgasm. You can choose the type of orgasm and often people who use mental orgasm report getting better and better at the starting of the orgasm to where they no longer need much, if any, mental arousal, but it is more like telling yourself to do it – no need for a build-up.
To have a mental orgasm, there are a few steps that re commonly done to begin and have your first few. After you have a few mental orgasms, you can find your own best thoughts to arouse and then release the orgasm. And eventually, you may not need to “build-up” the orgasm, but simply allow it. There are three steps:
- Focused Meditation: pay attention to just your body and thoughts.
- Arousal: use thoughts that turn you on sexually or sensually to build up the arousal.
- Allow: allow the orgasm to be released or “allowed.”
It is normal for people to practice at least 3 times, on 3 separate days, before getting a partial or whole response. The first time is just practicing the focus and arousal, the second time there is usually a twinge of orgasm or big build-up, and the third or fourth time the allow happens. Some people are startled by the orgasm and cause it to stop immediately. That is ok, just try again.
Happy orgasms!