Valentine’s Day in the U.S. tends to revolve around consumerism and a predictable storyline of flowers, cards and dinner reservations in the name of romantic love. Sure, the romantic feeling of love or adoration is meant to be at its core, but for a lot of us it can feel like a forced day to express love in uninspiring ways. When we look inside of ourselves to discover why we do the things we do, sometimes we realize we only subscribe to certain behavior because that’s what was passed down to us, this is part of human nature of course. But traditions can be changed and shifted (Galentine’s Day, Friendsgiving for example) and they absolutely should be if certain traditions cause you anxiety, a sense of loneliness or a sense of pressure to perform a certain way. With Valentine’s Day around the corner and advertisements for holiday gifts ramping up to their peak, let’s take a moment to consider our neighbors’ celebratory traditions to reign in some new views on how we might choose to reshape the way we want to express our feelings, with whom we celebrate and how we really want to express that celebration.
In Finland, Valentine’s Day is uncommercial and celebrates friendship rather than romantic love. February 14th is referred to as ystävänpäivä, which translates to Friends’ Day. And what a wonderful thing to celebrate! Afterall some of our close friends have been in our lives even before our romantic partners, and may be there even after or at least through the relationship. In Finland, the typical way to express this love for your friend is by handwriting cards and enjoying dinners, brunches or drinks with groups of friends and fun activities like bowling, skating or sledding. In fact there are so many cards sent for this holiday, that Postli, the Finnish postal company, employs about 150 more workers just to meet the delivery demand of mail. According to Carina Chela and Jenita Cresswell, writing for Finland.fi:
With all sorts of events taking place on ystävänpäivä all over Finland, there’s no need to be miserable if you don’t have a “better half” by your side on Valentine’s Day. Friends are forever.
Over in Bulgaria Valentine’s Day keeps the idea of sharing wine with loved ones, but they take it to the next level by celebrating the wine first! Every year, Bulgarians don’t just celebrate their love – or lament the lack thereof – on Valentine’s Day, they celebrate Saint Trifon, the patron saint of vineyards, with a day dedicated to wine and feasting. The rich history of the celebration of the Bulgarian patron saint of vineyards has turned the day into one of drinking wine, spending the day in vineyards and supporting local wine makers. You can even book tours for yourself and friends for packaged adventures into the beautiful culture of wine and the love winemakers have been cultivating and harvesting for centuries. History, wine, nature and friends? That’s the type of holiday celebration we could all benefit from.
Perhaps you want to keep the traditional theme of romantic love on Valentine’s Day, but want to find a way to make it more meaningful and less commercial? Then you may be happy to know that the Welsh tradition of St. Dwynwen’s Day (actually celebrated on January 25th) is to carve your loved one an intricate wooden love spoon. Dating from the 17th century, love spoons were originally carved from a single piece of wood by male suitors in the long winter nights and given to the one that they loved as a symbol of their romantic intentions towards that person. Taken from the earlier tradition of carving culinary spoons, love spoons often have many symbols on them to signify marriage, eternal love, or even the hope for children. So come on folks and get carving, maybe do it together and have a good laugh at your novice carving skills, but we don’t recommend mixing wine with this tradition if you choose to carve your own spoon.
Valentine’s Day is commonly a day for romance and lovers.. But if that doesn’t suit your lifestyle or mindset right now, or you feel tired of the same old-same old traditional celebrations, shake things up a bit and experiment with some new expressions of love and fun! Create your own traditions or blend pieces from other cultures into yours, and build what fits best for your life and belief systems. Holiday’s should be fun and something we look forward to. If Valentine’s Day feels more like a chore, that’s a great indication you are ready to make a change in your traditions.