Hi! I’m Zoë Kors, I’m a sex and intimacy coach and I work with women and couples to reframe sexuality as a form of creative self-expression. To have a more full and free experience with sex and to master their own bodies as well as each other’s.
The most frequently asked question for me is this:
“Zoe, how do we have more passionate sex? How do we have that kind of sex that is like mind-blowing and earth-moving and soul-stirring; the kind that we dream about, that we see in TV and movies and read about in novels? How does that happen, how do we achieve that?”
And the answer is: to be more present with each other.
You need to be there with them, present with them. You’re out of your head, you are actually there taking in moment-to-moment what is right in front of you.
Become aware of your breath.
One trick is to just bring your awareness, momentarily, to your breath and use your breath as a way of connecting
with your body.
Pay attention to each physical sensation.
Another way is to sort-of run with that and become super aware of the physical sensation in any given moment. Not just of the breath, but as love-making unfolds all of the sensation in your body.
Become Aware of Eye Contact
One of the most powerful ways of increasing presence in the bedroom and out of the bedroom is eye contact. There’s something that happens when we are seen, when we feel like we are being seen. That actually opens up a doorway for us to see ourselves in somebody else’s eyes. It gives way to a much deeper level of intimacy and that’s where the passion happens.
Practice eye contact out of the bedroom when you’re not making love. Sitting facing each other or standing facing each other and gazing into each other’s eyes. That will sort of bring into your realm of experience that extended kind of intimacy that eye gazing can bring.
Slow Down!
My last tip actually for increasing the level of passion in the bedroom is to slow down. By the time we get to the bedroom we are often still running at like mach speed and that’s no way to be present in the bedroom.
Put the devices down, take some deep breaths, connect with each other, make eye contact and just slow down. Think about that sort of slow steamy sex. Instead of a bonfire go for a smoldering kind of fire and heat that builds anticipation, that draws it out, that makes you wait, that makes you hungry for each other. That is a really good way to kind of heighten the passion.
Once again I’m Zoe Kors, sex and intimacy coach. It’s been a pleasure to be here with you on Residence 11. Please watch this space for more, I will be back frequently and if you’d like to ask a question yourself you can do so in the comments section underneath the video or you can head over to instagram and I’ll catch you there. Have a wonderful day.
I see you, I got you, I love you.