Good sex means different things for different people. One of the factors that shapes everyone’s sexual experience is the amount of time we actually spend having sex. Our culture tends to idealize lengthy sexual encounters where each participant basques in the carnal pleasure of the whole thing for hours. There’s no doubt that there’s a time and a place for experiences like that, but there’s also clearly a disconnect between cultural representations and people’s lived experiences.
On that note, a recent article in Mel Magazine titled “‘Are You Done, Yet?’ Women on How Long Sex Should Last,” written by Bridget Phetasy, sought the opinions of about 40 women on the ideal length for a good romp. The result? A surprising amount of consensus. Here are some of the responses:
“The pleasing me part starts first. There’s no time duration for that. The sex part after should be under 10 mins. I could be in and out from beginning to end in 11–15 mins I’d say… with prob 8 of those minutes focused solely on me.”
“I start thinking about tax refunds at minute 12. Money keeps me enthusiastic.”
“Straight pounding? 22 minutes.”
“Anything more than 30 minutes starts to reach the ‘hurry the f**k up’ point.”
Although there’s some elasticity, no one really seemed to be craving a session that would last all day or all night. Men were surveyed for the piece too. The author’s summation of their answers was as follows:
Most of the men who replied said something along the lines of, “Please say three minutes! Please say three minutes! Please say three minutes!”
It’s true that men sometimes go to great lengths to avoid a premature end to sexual encounters, and so the responses from women above may provide a certain amount of relief. Interestingly, the author revealed that there was a psychological element to her views on sex duration, too:
I had no idea how much of my sexual self-worth and identity was invested in my ability to readily and quickly make a man cum.
Check out the rest of the piece here.